02 August 2003
Kings of Leon - Molly's Chambers.
Steve brought in some soup... it's Cock Soup. "Oooh, we're a little naughty today. Cock Soup - with crackers or toast".
The Darkness - Growing on Me.
What mood is Karl in this week. Karl's head is red. "I think I'm allergic to having me head rubbed" Ricky had been squeezing his head. Karl spilled hot coffee on Ricky's leg. "sorry" was all he said. and now Ricky's leg is burned.
Karl walking to work. Passing the shops that are open early. News agents, good, coffee shops, they're doing well in the morning, the odd restaurant, preparing for lunch, fair enough. further down the road "Bondage Shop open...half past ten" Ricky--"busy?" "There's a couple in" What was Karl doing in there? "just having a browse"
More cock soup discussion....in this day and age they call it that?
Karl then talks about seeing a program about a hermaphrodite. Only he thinks the term is "aphrodi-tee" so...lot's of discussion about boys and girls an' that. what kind of doctor says, let's chop off the knob cause he's a little short-changed?
Bruce Springsteen song now. Atlantic City
More hermaphrodite talk. Which goes on to talk about John Bobbitt having his willy cut off by his wife, and having it reattached, then him becoming a porn star. 1910 Performance Artist who cut his knob off. "That's only a one night trick innit" says karl. Think of that? The French are funny though.
Longview--Further
More Knob News. Some guy trying to sell what he claims is Hitler's penis, for 12,000 pounds? "You're never gonna believe who's doing you now Love..." So--you raid Hitler's bunker, and your first thought is....let's take his John Thomas?
Karl remembers a device in Victorian days. He thinks it is a torture device. But it is most likely the device to stop boys from wanking. Karl--there weren't any good looking women then anyway" "All Victorian women... filthy and stinky"
Rolling Stones--Beast of Burden. for the first time on Xfm.
Happy 60th birthday this year for Mick Jagger. It's not his birthday today....just in the year.
Songs of phrase this week... "I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21. That's because Chiiiiiiinese, look older" If there's any phrase with Chinese in it, it will be Phil bailey. Phil played twice now, that's great royalties for him. Steve reads the prizes. Play it again Karl.
Steve reads a blurb from an article about the demise of Radio 1. And Ricky Gervais is listed as a saviour? Ricky could do that. He'd be the furry shreddy. Bring Ho Lee Fuk back etc. Do the wacky jingles and sound effects for the breakfast show. Dirty old queer would be another kooky crazy character. oh hello! It's Dirty Old Queer!
Ricky recaps a story about how they tried to call Moyle's show just to say something stupid about golf-related songs on Moylesies' show. Wasted 40 quid on the phone.
Elbow--Fallen Angel.
"Would you please welcome to the stage--Elbow" "Ladies and gentlemen...the Boomtown Rats"
Halfway through...Karl what-do ya think? "It's all right"
Magic's DJs have five hour shifts, and read their own news! And their links are awful...aw, bless 'em.
Karl read a little this past week on Galileo. He doesn't understand all the hubbub about Galileo. "We need a telly!" Karl brings this back the following week in the songs of phrase about Galileo and science. but we need the telly! and a French fella said women shouldn't wear trousers. Rubbish. "That's a bit daft, innit", says Karl These things don't pass as education. "If I read it and it gets me thinkin' that's a good little piece." says Karl
Karl again recaps the woman down the street on the estate--the house with the horse in it. She used to wear leggings. They're a bad idea. Apparently another titbit about this woman. She used to work one of those phone sex lines. Another thing--she had big eyelids. And there was another whole family there with big eyelids. Billy Joel's family I guess. "they suffered with big eyelids, they could hardly open their eyes." "What freak town were you born in!" says Ricky.
The woman with the big head..."it looks just like a cartoon" says Karl That show was on this week (what are you starin' at?).
Karl can't play snooker with Ricky. Or go to the toilet. Steve can peer over the cubicle partition and interrupt Karl's bathroom goin'
Homeless talk. Steve confronted by someone who says, "I'm from Liverpool, and I'm homeless." Steve--"well there, that's your problem! You're in London! Go back to Liverpool!" Ricky--"would you rather be homeless in Liverpool or London?" More homeless and charity discussion.
The Bristol festival...Steve recaps it and talks about the St. John's Ambulance Service people. Big props to them!
Songs of phrase answers and now monkey news: the monkey astronaut who got his pension from NASA,was made a Colonel, trained other astronauts? or other monkeys? Did he train Neil Armstrong? got his pension, died in 1969, was buried with his wife.... Did he learn to take off or dock or press buttons? Ricky--I'm pretty sure he was tied in with electrodes and was there to study weightlessness and see if he got sick under 400g's!
| Series 0 | Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | ||
| Presenters | Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington | |
| Others | Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost | |
| Features | Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More... | |
