Xfm Series 2
24 August 2002
Ricky, Steve and Karl compare their individual journeys back from the Edinburgh Festival. Karl, who spent the week producing Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's Xfm show, tells ghost stories they'd told him to Ricky and Steve. Later, Karl mishears 'mammoth' as 'man moth'.
31 August 2002
Ricky and Steve interview Karl to re-introduce him to the listening public. Karl reveals the true origin of the phrase 'chucking the baby out with the bathwater'. And Karl starts a competition he calls 'What's The Song', that in later shows becomes Rockbusters.
07 September 2002
Steve explains how Ricky and Karl spent the half hour before the show playing football but things turn sour when Karl is annoyed that Ricky can't record links for the 'Best Of' show that will play next week because he must leave immediately after to go on holiday. Later Karl talks about people with big heads and no heads, and his competition turns into such a farce that even he laughs at it.
14 September 2002
A "best of" show, as Ricky and Steve are off to film The Office.
21 September 2002
28 September 2002
Karl is absent as Suzanne has taken him to The Canary Islands for his birthday. Claire Sturgess stands in for Karl.
05 October 2002
Karl is away for another week as when he was on holiday his dad was sent to hospital and he had to help with things.
12 October 2002
The very first week of Rockbusters. Karl makes a number of suggestions of further possible radio quizzes including; Strike it Ricky; Big Mother, a concept in which listeners can win a CD if they have a heavy mother and The Rice is Right. Karl also introduces the new feature Educating Ricky, a title derived from the film Educating Rita in which he educates Ricky and Steve. The topics of education for the first week include 'Hairy Chinese Kid'.
19 October 2002
Ricky's got a hangover, and the second week of Rockbusters.
26 October 2002
02 November 2002
The first email from Richard Anderson aka Dicky Anderson, The Dickster… Karl trys to sell his futon and desk combo for £100. Karl has a small laughing fit during rockbusters, a lot of people claim to have never heard Karl laugh.
9 November 2002
Coldplay - "The Scientist"
Steve got his arse pinched/talking to the homeless "I Wanna Be Adored" - Stone Roses Feeder - "Come Back Around" Ricky's first week training for charity boxing, please suggest a boxing nickname Ice Cube - "Good Day" Suggestions for boxing nicknames, "What happens if you win? What's the point?"/Karl at Crusaders - "My mate was dead religious - I'm not..." "Well you believe in shadows running around and pushing people off bikes" Rockbusters teaser, Educating Ricky teaser: "I already know about hairy Chinese Kids and a deaf girl who can hear again" The Hives - "Hate To Say I Told You So" "The amazing Karl Pilkington"/Rockbusters (prize: You heard them earlier on, We played The Stone Roses - "I Wanna Be Adored"): "That army has got some well nice trenches" - DW; "The top of those curtains are all wrecked - the material's all worn" - HV; "I was in Texas last week - I tripped and landed on me knees in a puddle" - WH Bob Dylan - "Just Like A Woman" Boxing nicknames for Ricky/e-mail from Richard Anderson "What actually is the point of your show?" (Last week e-mailed to say he'd rather count his feet) Missy Elliott - "Work It" Educating Ricky: "I'll bacon In the morning if you've had enough of me" (origin of "giving someone the cold shoulder) Nirvana - "The Man Who Sold The World" Educating Ricky: "Breastfeeding eight-year old" - "I put in 'why' to see if I could confuse the computer"/Werthers are old-man sweets Electric Six - "Danger High Voltage" "We'll have a big fire to-marrow" - the origin of bonfire Van Morrison - "Gloria" Free Association - "" White Van Karl: thug wins lottery/kids know too much these days/Steve's dad calls his mum a twat Suede - "Animal Nitrate" "Karl's all flustered..."/Educating Ricky: Brian Blessed climbing Everest/"He's a bit of a noose-sance": money for old rope - "You nearly made me swear then!"/Rockbusters answers: "Dandy Warhols"/"Holly Valance"/"Wet Knee Houston"
16 November 2002
Ricky and Steve discuss Karl being labelled as a genius in Heat Magazine.
23 November 2002
MTV have offered Karl the opportunity to record a screen test. He is however reluctant to do this. Karl plays a recorded interview with a woman who claims to have a ghost living in her house in a short feature entitled 'Pilkington', music from television's 'Parkinson' is used.
30 November 2002
Richard Ashcroft - "Science Of Silence" "A desperate attempt to be articulate"... "Massive poster campaign"... "Looks like a predatory gay"... "He's not listening!"... Name an attractive bloke Feeder - "Just The Way I'm Feeling" Reintroducing Karl/jellyfish... fish in the sea Simon and Garfunkel - "April Comes She Will" Trailing Educating Ricky, Rockbusters - prizes: Only Fools And Horses - "we gave away one of those last week", more of Karl's mum's Rockbusters Warren G - "Regulate" Nirvana - "You Know You're Right" "The Fight" - Ricky's been in the Bod-Pod as part of his boxing training: 25% fat/"scientists can't work out how flies fly" David Bowie - "Be My Wife" The homeless wind Steve up - he saw one reading a book: why hasn't he got a job? My Morning Jacket - "Lowdown" e-mail from Richard Anderson who has been watching a puddle evaporate/"this is an award-winning show" - the show that won was the one with the upheld complaint Karl's mum's Rockbusters: "This group are nice on toast" - Jam; "This man liked his wine" - Dean Martin; "Hope you're not speeding when you meet these" - The Police; "Sounds like these lads work for the 'ospital" - Gerry And The Pacemakers/Rockbusters prizes Eminem - "" "Merchant's Navy", "Merchant Of Little Venice", "Shaddapa Gervais" Rockbusters: "You've been dunking that for too long" - LB, "You won't be able to play that game in this pub because the table ain't big enough" - FD, "I've had a rubbish day, so I'm happy it's over" - GK Educating Ricky: "Get Your Kit Off, We're Off Down The Butcher's", "Wash Up With You?", "Why Don't They Just Get A Diary Or Some Paper Or Something?" Oasis - "Live Forever" Educating Ricky: "Get Your Kit Off, We're Off Down The Butcher's" (origin of "Don't let the cat out of the bag")/"This isn't a radio show, is it?"/"For a simple man, you retain a lot of knowledge - it's just all rubbish" Aqualung - "Good Times Gonna Come" Educating Ricky: "Wash Up With You?" - research into how different nations wash up Travis - "Love Will Come Through" Educating Ricky: "Why Don't They Just Get A Diary Or Some Paper Or Something?" - tattoos/vampires Buzzcocks - "Ever Fallen In Love With Someone You Shouldn't Have" Big headed kids/the real origin of letting the cat out of the bag Rock Busters - Limp Bizkit, Gladys Knight, Fats Domino Song For The Lovers: John Martyn - "May You Never"
07 December 2002
Karl records his screen test for MTV today. Ricky and Steve 'educate' Karl alongside the usual Educating Ricky reading him two fictional stories ,demonstrate how gullible Karl is when reading internet material.
14 December 2002
Karl is away again today, Claire Sturgess pushes the buttons in his absence.
21 December 2002
Xmas special
Karl's in a bad mood because he had a bad time last week, he didn't buy his girlfriend's dad anything for his birthday and got a joint birthday and Xmas card/he's not buying her anything for Xmas because he's taking her out for dinner at Xmas Pretenders - "2000 Miles" Vote for your favourite parts for next week's Best Of/Channel 4 have ripped off Rockbusters/Richard Anderson e-mail: "I've got to attend some family Xmas nonsense at Aunty Marion's house." Badly Drawn Boy - "Donner And Blitzen" Karl's Xmas memories: his drunken brother broke his trainset and he bought his mum a Victoria Plum and she thought it was "bloody awful..." "...so that's why I don't get anyone anything anymore." Athlete - "" Goldrush - "I Let You Down" More of Karl's Xmas memories: his parents' parties where the whole estate came, Karl found a cigar and tried it/Steve's grandparents are waiting to die Teenage Fanclub - "Christmas Eve" Ross Noble sent Karl a picture from "Bizarre": kid with a big head Karl went to see The Christians in concert and his dad was worried, Karl's mum told him not to tell anyone he's not christened as there's witches and stuff - "she was worried about when you were naive and stupid and easily-led" Rockbusters non-Xmas special which Karl has cleverly tweaked because Heat magazine said it might be a special Xams edition: "there's a load of letters there asking for advice, put them on Claire's desk - oh, and have a good Christmas" - F, "Ask yer mam if you should, after you've wrapped the presents" - S, "A couple of people were arguing in the supermarket at the fruit and veg counter and it's busy in there because it's Christmas"- B ? - "?" The toilet doesn't work/using disabled toilets/giving directions... "I need some blood" The Pogues - "Fairytale Of New York" Canned Laughter for Denis Norden/"Pilkington: Do We Need 'Em?" 1: Jellyfish, with Vicky in an aquarium in Angelsey Feeder - "Just The Way I'm Feeling" Victoria Plum/documentary about fellas with no legs nicking cars/Educating Ricky: "Well, You'd Think It Be Bug-Head, Wouldn't You?" "We've talked a lot about animals without heads..." Mark Eitzel - "Snowbird" A Victoria Plum on eBay/Educating Ricky: "Ooh, What A Cat-Toes-Trophe": a cat had too many toes and was really good in the snow - are disabilities all bad? Look on the bright side! John Lennon - "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" Presents for Karl: Champagne Rockbusters answers: Foreigner - "that is shit" - Shalamar, Bananarama - "What group is 'Bananadrama'? You're a fool! You're a twat!"/Steve tries to kiss Karl Joni Mitchell - ""
28 December 2002
A "best of" show.
04 January 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 1)
11 January 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 2)
18 January 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 3)
25 January 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 4)
The Birth of Monkey News!
01 February 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 5)
08 February 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 6)
15 February 2003
There are several references to the big anti-war demo taking place in London today; Karl's girlfriend was away and he forgets to go to bed
White Stripes - "Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground" "We have got a great show lined up for you... the west End is crammed" Guns And Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine" Karl forgets to go to bed/Karl saw Dracula and found a flaw: "vampires have no reflection but his centre parting's always really neat..."/"This will be the last Rockbusters." "It's a special one..." "You mean it makes sense?" Lloyd Cole - "Like Lovers Do" "I've got another mate with a bald head and I like to squeeze it." Split-brain operations WT Featuring Snoop - "The Streets" xfamily Fortunes/"You are the most annoying man I have ever met" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - "Bring It On" xfamily Fortunes Badly Drawn Boy - "Born Again" Eminem - "Sing For The Moment" Karl in "The Shining" Bob Dylan - "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" "They're arguing about why this show is so bad..." "THis is actually more fun for me to do that you to listen to."/Ricky taking photos for Japanese tourists who don't know who he is - "this life of a minor celebrity" Oasis - "Songbird" Foo Fighters - "Times Like These" Karl forgets to eat when his girlfriend's away "...and I've got restless leg syndrome..." "...I put it down to Smarties and that..."/"A woman had a baby that was having a baby" The Zombies - "Time Of The Season" Bonobos/Marches are pointless - there are too many people to anything done Nirvana - "Come As You Are" Doves - "There Goes The Fear" Rockbusters - "it's the last ever one": "The Northern Lad remembers he had to tell his mam's daughter something" - O; "The person from Birmingham got a C in their degree" - T; "The Cockney fella isn't happy - everything's going wrong" - DH Valentine's Special: "Letter To Hermione" Monkey News: "There's a monkey in India in a railway station waiting for the train... fella steals a hangbag... monkey arrests him." Rockbusters answers: Oasis, Toto, Dan Hill N*E*R*D - "Provider" "I hope the Sonys weren't listening to that... I'm not coming in next week... I've got to go away and rethink this whole thing... I think this is damaging to our reputation"
22 February 2003
A "best of" show.
01 March 2003
A "best of" show.
08 March 2003
Claire Sturgess is producing; Karl's ill
U2 - "Beautiful Day" "Karl's ill... well, he's not here... he'd better be in hospital" Coldplay - "Clocks" Is Karl a chimp? Wedding Present - "Another Pleasant Valley Sunday" Karl and Steve were in LA the past two weeks talking about redoing The Office in the USA/Steve's passport expired - "" Oasis - "Supersonic" Where is Karl? Aimee Mann - "Red Vines" More about Oliver The Human-zee Zwan - "Honestly" Claire can't work the phone E-Mail from Richard Anderson: "There's something making strange yelping noises in the thicket at the end of may garden - shall I go and prod it to see if it's Karl? P.S. The show's still rubbish without Karl"/Karl's answerphone message/Call Karl on 07968 157*** Feeder - "Just The Way I'm Feeling" Karl's been slagging Steve off Patti Smith - "Because The Night" Let's do a better show without Karl Richard Ashcroft - "Buy It In Bottles" Blur - "Out Of Time" Steve fancies the woman from the Scottish Widows advert Bad Company - "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love" Ricky in a rock mood Flaming Lips - "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots" Rush - "Spirit Of Radio" Ian Camfield/The A Team Karl phones in - he's ill because he forgot to eat when his girlfriend was away. And she was away again this week and he put wet jeans on. Kings Of Leon - "Molly Chambers" More Karl Hot Hot Heat - "Bandages"
15 March 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 7)
22 March 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 8)
29 March 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 11)
05 April 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 9)
12 April 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 10)
19 April 2003
Claire is producing because Karl is on holiday, Steve has been ill in the week
U2 - "Beautiful Day" Karl is away with his girlfriend and her parents Blur - "Where Is The Love?" Ricky's a hypochondriac who worries about cancer, Steve's very sickly and thinks he's got SARS Bruce Springsteen - "Lonesome Day" Turin Brakes - "Painkiller (Summer Rain)" Steve fancies Louise Woodward Ten Storey Love Song - "Stone Roses" Where is Louise Woodward working? Peter Gabriel - "Solsbury Hill" Placebo - "The Bitter End" Butlins/"Reborn In The USA"/Ricky's experiences on the road with Seona Dancing: "Bucks Fizz tried to smuggle us onto the plane" Neil Young - "Man Needs A Maid" Radiohead - "There There" Innovations catalogue is being shut down Pink Floyd - "Wish You Were Here" Feeder - "Think About Tomorrow" Competition for "25th Hour" tickets The Smiths - "Reel Around The Fountain" "Horrible, scary" collectable dolls/mental case who was obsessed with Mike Read: "Imagine you were in a love triangle with her and Louise Woodward." "I'd let them wrestle it out, nude in a hotel room." Coldplay - "Clocks" Send e-mails to Karl, Ricky and Andrew Phillips saying the show was better without Karl Ed Harcourt - "The Birds Will Sing For Us"
26 April 2003
Karl is back, Steve's had a sore throat all week and went home in the week
Blur - "Where Is The Love?" Why does a sore throat stop you working? "It's a bit like that Ronnie Corbet thing..." /Ricky hurdt his back but still did a voiceover in the week... "I'll play you what he did..." Thin Lizzy - "The Boys Are Back In Town" "I think it's stress: I travel in on the tube - I saw a Chinaman sneeze, I Was terrified!"/the first time Suzanne was ill she saw the real Karl/Karl giving out biscuits to old people "because he had good nails"/"I do a voiceover for X-Ray Magazine... they let me make up the script" Voiceover 1: "We can *possibly" put that out on xfm - but we need one for Capital" Voiceover 2: Dr Frog "I had to play them to the MD..." "I'd like to hear Dr. Frog featuring on our show more..!" Badly Drawn Boy - "All Possibilities" "I've got some new characters..." Camp David, The Right Queer Gay/Ho Lee Fuk, the little funny Chinese guy/return of Rockbusters Sugar - "If I Can Change Your Mind" Gayvid Gray, the Bent Piano player The Who - "The Seeker" What would Richard Anderson sound like?/Rockbusters: "The gingerbread man Has Only Got One Leg": LB, "These people from the East Midlands swear a lot: TTB; "Have a holiday in Italy": TB Feeder - "Think About Tomorrow" Placebo - "The Bitter End" Ricky's friends are all different/his mate Robin has little thumbs/Educating Ricky: "Rule Of Thumb" The Cure - "A Forest" Rockbusters results: Limp Bizkit, Terrence Trent Darby, Turin Brakes Radiohead - "There There" Don't give away the secret of Rockbusters Steely Dan - "Reeling In The Years" "You can say that I look like something you can buy in Forbidden Planet, but not someone who shops there!"/Auctioning Ricky's sketch of Karl, "EVen an ill person would say 'you don't have to have your head squooze for us'."/Karl's holiday with Suzanne's parents - "you're a monster, Karl!" U2 - "With Or Without You" "Cheeky Freak Of The Week" - dog people: "this is real..." "They're human beings who have deformed legs..." "Would you serve her in a restaurant?" "The premise being what?" "Well, restaurants don't serve animals..."/Monkey News: "Alfred was the monkey who robbed the robbers..." The monkeys bargain with the zookeepers to let them go for 250 grand: "If he was planning on leaving the zoo, he's going to withdraw his savings..." REM - "What's The Frequency Kenneth?" "Do you think when Marconi invented radio that this was what he had in mind for it?"
03 May 2003
This week's show is going for the Sony Award
Richard Ashcroft - "Buy It In Bottles" "It's the Sonys this week, so make it a good one." That can work against you: Karl's dad meeting a bloke who looked like Ken Dodd, guy on the radio thought noise in the background on the phone was a parrot but it was a woman's Down's Syndrome child The Smiths - "Panic" Karl didn't pass on the message that someone was looking for Steve to offer him some voiceover work Snoop Doggy Dogg - "Beautiful" "You're worse than my agent!" "At least when his agent does it he's losing himself money as well!" Warren Zeavon - "I Ain't That Pretty At All" Rockbusters: "the hitchhiker needs a lift, but in something bigger than a car": VH, "Don't be selfish - hands some of it out to your mates": C, "the Scottish fellas can't get into their e-mails": KL REM - "Man In The Moon" Evan - "Stop My Head" People in cinemas The Beatles - "Let It Be" 50 Cent - "In Da Club" Steve and Karl are arguing/Women can get treatment for baldness on the NHS, but men can't... Karl's bald head isn't a "hairdo" or "style"
10 May 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 12)
17 May 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 13)
31 May 2003
Blur - "Out Of Time" Ricky has done his back in wrestling - "Have you seen gorillas fighting?" Rod Stewart - "Maggie May" Fax machines and letters The Darkness - "Growing On Me" Steve's new sunglasses New York Dolls - "Trash" Coldplay - "The Scientist" Tattoos Thin Lizzy - "Don't Believe A Word" Piercing and Ricky's earrings Lil' Kim - "Jump Off" Placebo - "This Picture" Rockbusters - "Customer wanted some paint to darken up her room, the shop assistant knew what to do": CB; "It'd be all right if their heads weren't so large": SF; "Chanel have got another perfume out": NO Bob Marley - "Stir It Up" Cheeky Freak Of The Week: Lobster Man and the Siamese twins who were run over - "why didn't he look both ways?" Red Hot Chilli Peppers - "Universally Speaking" "Guess who's coming to dinner" The Smiths - "I Started Something I Couldn't Finish" Nelson Mandela Athlete - "Westside" Marina Topley-Bird - "Need One" Monkey News: number 86, the monkey who was a magician's assistant, stole his car and drove to Spain - "You must know that is shit." "Mad, innit?" Suede - "Stay Together" Rockbusters: Cilla Black, Small Faces, New Order Nirvana - "The Man Who Sold The World"
07 June 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 14)
14 June 2003
21 June 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 15)
28 June 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 16)
05 July 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 17)
12 July 2003
19 July 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 18)
26 July 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 19)
02 August 2003
09 August 2003
16 August 2003
(Xfm: Season 1 Volume 20)