Series 1 - Ross Kemp

Episode 1
...starring Ross Kemp
Episode no.	1
Original airdate	28 July 2005
Written by	Ricky Gervais Stephen Merchant
Directed by	Ricky Gervais Stephen Merchant
Guest stars	Ross Kemp Vinnie Jones

The first episode of the first series of Extras.

Plot

Andy and Maggie.

Two friends, Andy Millman and Maggie Jacobs, are background artists, or extras. They are currently filming a television show set during the Napoleonic War with Ross Kemp. Andy is a struggling actor who is desperately trying to make it to the top. He wonders why someone like Ross Kemp gets parts when he doesn’t. To make matters worse a fellow actor that Andy hates named Greg has a part with a speaking role in a nearby set with Vinnie Jones. Maggie, on the other hand, is not an actor, but works as an extra for the money. Maggie fancies an actor on the set, but is intimidated because he’s smarter than she is. She attempts to get close to him by talking about the stock market and the two eventually go on a date. Yet their date doesn’t end well.

Andy visits his agent, Darren Lamb, to see if there are any parts available. Darren is also an agent for Shaun Williamson, or Barry off EastEnders. Andy mentions that he is working with Ross Kemp, a sore subject for Barry since it was Ross Kemp who convinced Barry to demand more money for his role on EastEnders which led to him losing the role. After the meeting with his agent, Maggie encourages Andy to get his own roles. Thus Andy decides to speak to Ross Kemp to try and get a speaking role. During the conversation, Ross Kemp tries to convince Andy he could fight Vinnie Jones and agrees to give Andy some lines. Andy immediately tries to brag to Greg about his accomplishment and ends up telling him that Ross Kemp could use his SAS training to fight Vinnie Jones. Word gets around to Vinnie Jones, via Greg, that Ross Kemp has been slagging him off leading to a confrontation between Jones and Kemp. Kemp cowardly backs down and has to admit to Andy that he isn’t really a hard man. He also informs Andy he can’t get him a line since he has no power and he’s constantly bullied on sets.

Quotes

• Andy: This is my CV that he’s sending out to people, I mean, casting agents, producers. He typed it himself, ok, “From 1986 to 1999 Andy Millman worked for the Nat West in Wokingham. Andy left this comfortable, adequately paid job, to try and become an actor despite his age, weight, and looks. Andy claims to be a great actor but has not yet had the chance to prove it because so far he’s had no offers except extra work which, as you know, is pointless and badly paid. Acting is Andy’s dream; if you could make that dream come true please, please call.”

• Maggie: Go up to Ross Kemp and ask him for a line just say to him, “I thought you were brilliant in Eastenders, Ultimate Force, loved you in Spandau Ballet…”
  Andy: What?
  Maggie: Spandau Ballet.
  Andy: He wasn’t in Spandau Ballet. That was Martin Kemp. Martin Kemp was in Eastenders and Spandau Ballet.
  Maggie: Who is this one?
  Andy: Ross Kemp.
  Maggie: Are they not brothers?
  Andy: No. It was Martin Kemp and Gary Kemp were the brothers.
  Maggie: Well who’s this one?
  Andy: Ross Kemp.
  Maggie: Well who’s his brother?
  Andy: I don’t know if he’s got a brother.
  Maggie: Yes he does he’s got that little- the little bald one with the pink face that looks like him.
  Andy: Phil Mitchell, his onscreen brother, Phillip Grant Mitchell but they’re not really brothers.
  Maggie: Yes they are they’re the Mitchell brothers.
  Andy: What do you mean the Mitchell brothers you know his name’s Ross Kemp. What bit’s confusing you?
  Maggie: The brothers.
  Andy: The brothers.

• Ross Kemp: I mean, do you know what that stands for?
  Andy: SAS? Special Air Service.
  Ross Kemp: What?
  Andy: Special Air Service, innit?
  Ross Kemp: It doesn’t stand for that
  Andy: Doesn’t it?
  Ross Kemp: I’ve talked to actual SAS people, they’ve told me what it stands for.
  Andy: What does it stand for then?
  Ross Kemp: Super army soldiers.
  Andy: (Laughs) You sure?
  Ross Kemp: Yeah I mean, actual SAS people have told me that, the actual guys themselves and they should know.
  Andy: They aren’t winding you up?
  Ross Kemp: They wouldn’t do that to one of their own.

• Actor: Come on love you’re like a dead horse, put a bit of minge around it.

Cultural References

• Zippy from Rainbow: a fictional character on the children's television programme Rainbow. Zippy is an brownish-orange puppet with a huge rugby ball shaped oval head, big blue eyes and a zip for a mouth. His voice was first provided by Peter Hawkins, later by Roy Skelton. Ronnie Le Drew operated the character.

• Jim’ll Fix it: a British television show devised and hosted by Jimmy Savile, who would "fix it" for the wishes of several viewers (usually children) to come true each week.

• EastEnders: a popular and award-winning television soap opera, first broadcast in the United Kingdom on BBC1 on 19 February 1985. It currently ranks within the top of the most watched shows in the United Kingdom. EastEnders storylines examine the domestic and professional lives of the people who live and work in the London Borough of Walford in the East End of London.

• Ultimate Force: a British television drama series that was shown on ITV, which deals with the activities of the fictional Red Troop of the SAS (Special Air Service). The programme started in 2002 and four seasons were produced.

• Spandou Ballet: a popular British band in the 1980s. They are considered pioneers of the 80s New Romantic movement. The band's history began in 1976, and was originally called 'The Cut' during their formative years with Gary Kemp as singer/songwriter and Steve Norman on guitar, later saxophone and percussion.

Trivia

• Although this episode aired second in the series on the BBC and third on HBO, it is the first episode on the DVD release in the UK and on the Extras scriptbooks.

Gallery

• 

  Andy's line.

• 

  Barry off EastEnders

• 

  Darren Lamb: World's Worst Agent.

• 

  The brothers?

• For more images go to: Gallery:Extras - Series 1 Episode 1

External links

• HBO episode guide: "Ross Kemp"