Series 1 - Patrick Stewart

Episode 6
...Starring Patrick Stewart
Episode no.	6
Original airdate	25 August 2005
Written by	Ricky Gervais Stephen Merchant
Directed by	Ricky Gervais Stephen Merchant
Guest stars	Patrick Stewart

The sixth episode of the first series of Extras.

Plot

Just having a little sing song.

Andy and Maggie are working together as extras in a Shakespeare film with Patrick Stewart. In a desperate attempt to kick start his career, Andy visits Patrick Stewart in his trailer and gives him his sitcom script. Later, Andy’s agent, Darren, informs Andy that he was contacted by Patrick Stewart’s production company who sent his script to the BBC. Darren and Andy then go to the BBC to meet Iain Morris and Damon Beesley who are in charge of new comedy. Andy says he prefers to have the show appear on BBC 2 with no laughter track, no live studio audience and although he would like to write the show himself, Ian and Damon insist that he writes the show with Damon. Andy and Damon are getting along while writing the show until Andy tells Maggie that Damon is too gay for him and Maggie immediately tells Damon. After this tension threatens Andy’s sitcom, he goes to speak to Maggie and tells her to stay out of his business and grow up. Everything works out for Andy after he apologizes to Damon and they agree to go forward with the pilot. But Maggie takes what Andy said to heart and decides to start acting more grown up. Andy feels bad about what he said to Maggie and apologizes to her with some help from Patrick Stewart.

Quotes

• Andy: Because while you were at school swotting up on Shakespeare I was out living a real life, shagging birds.
  Maggie: Really? You told me you didn’t have sex til you were 22.
  Andy: Why are you joining in?
  Greg: Interesting.
  Andy: Not interesting. No it’s not.
  Maggie: It is quite interesting cause you said your mum wouldn’t let you bring girls home.
  Andy: Why are you still joining in?
  Greg: The plot thickens.
  Andy: No the plot doesn’t thicken cause I could have been lying to her.
  Maggie: If you were lying why did you say you lost your virginity to a woman who looked like Ronnie Corbett?

Andy apologizes.

• Stewart: So, in my film, I play a man who controls the world with his mind.
  Andy: Right. That's interesting.
  Stewart: For instance, I'm walking along, and I see this beautiful girl, and I think I'd like to see her naked, and so all her clothes fall off.
  Andy: All her clothes fall off?
  Stewart: Mmm. Yes. And she's scrabbling around to get them back on again, but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. I've seen it all.
  Andy: Ok... So, comedy, is it?
  Stewart: No. It's about what would happen if these things were possible.
  Andy: What's the story though?
  Stewart: Well, I do other stuff, like I'm riding my bike in the park, and this policewoman says, "Oi! You can't ride your bike on the grass." And I go, "Oh no?", and her uniform falls off, and she goes "Aaaah!", and she's trying to cover up, but I've seen everything anyway, and I get on my bike and ride off. On the grass.
  Andy: So, it's mainly you going around seeing ladies' tits?
  Stewart: Mainly. And I do other stuff. Like I go to the World Cup Final and it's Germany vs. England. And I wish I were playing and suddenly I am! And I score the winning goal. They carry me into the dressing room, and there's Rooney and Beckham and then Posh Spice walks in and --
  Andy: Her clothes fall off?
  Stewart: Instantly.
  Andy: Sure.
• Darren: I think the obvious choice is right under your nose, Barry.
• Darren: He’s a singer as well…
  Barry: (sings) Mustang Sally!
  Andy: That’s loud, innit.
  Darren: Loud. He did a gig once without a microphone.
  Barry: Well there wasn’t a microphone there.
  Darren: Nothing, was there. No he just turned up for this gig there was no PA system, nothing. So tell him what happened.
  Barry: They were gonna cancel the gig, I said, “You’re having a laugh aren’t you? I don’t need a microphone.” I said, “Microphones are for wimps.”

Trivia

• While Maggie is cleaning her apartment, she takes down a poster of Orlando Bloom who later guest stars in series 2 where Maggie tells him she is not attracted to him. The role was originally meant to be played by Jude Law who had to back out at the last minute.
• Iain Morris and Damon Beesley are the names of two actual British producers who are featured in the television special, Ricky Gervais: New Hero of Comedy. They were VT producers of the 11 O'Clock Show.

Gallery

• 

  What would you rather have...?

• 

  I've seen everything.

• 

  Darren and Andy at the BBC.

• 

  Iain Morris and Damon Beesley.

• For more images go to: Gallery:Extras - Series 1 Episode 6

External links

• HBO episode guide: "Patrick Stewart"