18 January 2003: Difference between revisions
No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| (16 intermediate revisions by 8 users not shown) | |||
| Line 6: | Line 6: | ||
==Track Listing== | ==Track Listing== | ||
====1. ' | {|width=65% style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px" | ||
!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[18 January 2003/Transcript]].''}} | |||
|- | |||
| | |||
|} | |||
====1. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#I've Done Very Little Preparation|I've Done Very Little Preparation]] ''(0:00:00)''==== | |||
Ricky starts off the show with a confession. People listen to the show just for Karl. Ricky's not been on a bus in 12 years and doesn't know what the fare is. A guy on the tube said to Steve that Ricky seems a bit obnoxious. | Ricky starts off the show with a confession. People listen to the show just for Karl. Ricky's not been on a bus in 12 years and doesn't know what the fare is. A guy on the tube said to Steve that Ricky seems a bit obnoxious. | ||
====2. | ====2. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#That Experiment I Was Doing|That Experiment I Was Doing]] ''(0:02:59)''==== | ||
Ricky was hitting Karl on the head with a tin tray. Ricky brings up ''Time Out'' magazine and the topic of browsing a telephone directory. There are 42 pages of Macs in the Edinburgh directory according to Karl, who counted while he was bored and finished with the free shortbreads. Ricky and Steve ponder the old caretaker in Karl's head. Karl's got another good monkey story and intros the features to come. Karl can't find anything interesting to teach Ricky about space, because there's nothing there (like the Millenium Dome). Doesn't Ricky want to know how a lung works? Karl knows how a microwave works. | Ricky was hitting Karl on the head with a tin tray. Ricky brings up ''Time Out'' magazine and the topic of browsing a telephone directory. There are 42 pages of Macs in the Edinburgh directory according to Karl, who counted while he was bored and finished with the free shortbreads. Ricky and Steve ponder the old caretaker in Karl's head. Karl's got another good monkey story and intros the features to come. Karl can't find anything interesting to teach Ricky about space, because there's nothing there (like the Millenium Dome). Doesn't Ricky want to know how a lung works? Karl knows how a microwave works. | ||
====3. | ====3. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#Tell Us About This Monkey, Karl|Tell Us About This Monkey, Karl]] ''(0:09:40)''==== | ||
Karl's got a story about a monkey who ends up acting like the zoo worker he's staying with, eventually trying it on with the zookeeper's wife. | Karl's got a story about a monkey who ends up acting like the zoo worker he's staying with, eventually trying it on with the zookeeper's wife. | ||
====4. | ====4. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater|One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater]] ''(0:14:48)''==== | ||
Karl can't remember a song he liked as a kid and listeners call in to sputter out word fragments in assistance. Steve reads off the Rockbusters prizes, inevitably the [[ | Karl can't remember a song he liked as a kid and listeners call in to sputter out word fragments in assistance. Steve reads off the Rockbusters prizes, inevitably the [[Competition_Prizes|usual tat]] which includes an old Only Fools and Horses video, an air guitar compilation, and a Dr Who "Aztecs" episode. Steve looks just like the ideal Dr Who fan. <br> | ||
[[File:ScXBqj.jpg|thumbnail|right|'The Ultimate Doctor Who fan']] | |||
====5. | ====5. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#A Huge Crush on Darius Danesh|A Huge Crush on Darius Danesh]] ''(0:21:32)''==== | ||
A woman has called in who thinks Steve is arrogant, but he just thinks he's mean, objectionable, and nasty. Emailers want more [[White Van Karl]] but it's too political so Steve has an article from Dear Deidre for Karl. A 42 year old woman feels guilty about having sex with her husband 5x in the last 24 hours whilst being turned on by Darius, as opposed to her husband's new mustache as he thinks it is. Ricky and Steve try to get Karl to say something sexy in case listeners are turned on by him, but he doesn't really do that. Karl's advice is "just treat 'em". [[Suzanne]] is bored with her Christmas present. What would Karl do if he were impotent? It wouldn't bother him anymore. | A woman has called in who thinks Steve is arrogant, but he just thinks he's mean, objectionable, and nasty. Emailers want more [[White Van Karl]] but it's too political so Steve has an article from Dear Deidre for Karl. A 42 year old woman feels guilty about having sex with her husband 5x in the last 24 hours whilst being turned on by Darius, as opposed to her husband's new mustache as he thinks it is. Ricky and Steve try to get Karl to say something sexy in case listeners are turned on by him, but he doesn't really do that. Karl's advice is "just treat 'em". [[Suzanne]] is bored with her Christmas present. What would Karl do if he were impotent? It wouldn't bother him anymore. | ||
====6. | ====6. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#No One Might Be Listening|No One Might Be Listening]] ''(0:28:18)''==== | ||
The email's not working. Karl's got some medical information for Ricky this week, called [[Colon Then, Educate Me]]. Brain surgery involves being awake, and like barbers, like to make you feel daft. | The email's not working. Karl's got some medical information for Ricky this week, called [[Colon Then, Educate Me]]. Brain surgery involves being awake, and like barbers, like to make you feel daft. | ||
====7. | ====7. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#The Doctor Said I Was Gonna Die|The Doctor Said I Was Gonna Die]] ''(0:33:26)''==== | ||
Karl recounts the tale of eating old donuts and [[Congress Tarts]] from the bakery [[Karl's Mam|his mam]] worked at. Everybody at his school used to go there and then spend their dinner money on the arcade. One day he got so sick he had his mam have the doctor come 'round, who said he'd not got long left. Ricky's pretty sure it was sarcasm, but Steve can't believe his mam just let the doctor go after that. The 2nd segment of Colon Then is about a woman whose buttock tumour turned out to be a pork chop. | Karl recounts the tale of eating old donuts and [[Congress Tarts]] from the bakery [[Karl's Mam|his mam]] worked at. Everybody at his school used to go there and then spend their dinner money on the arcade. One day he got so sick he had his mam have the doctor come 'round, who said he'd not got long left. Ricky's pretty sure it was sarcasm, but Steve can't believe his mam just let the doctor go after that. The 2nd segment of Colon Then is about a woman whose buttock tumour turned out to be a pork chop. | ||
====8. | ====8. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#Mad World Though, Innit!|Mad World Though, Innit!]] ''(0:39:15)''==== | ||
Everyone's getting the last Rockbusters clue ''(which we haven't heard given out)'' wrong, so Ricky and Steve make Karl give it out again. It's time for [[Do We Need 'Em?]], today featuring cockroaches with Jessica Marshall, who works in the good museum near Knightsbridge. She disputes most of the information Karl has gathered, namely that they have 18 knees, and that they can hold their breath for 40 minutes, but affirms that they can leave for a week without "an 'ead". Karl needs to use better sources. | Everyone's getting the last Rockbusters clue ''(which we haven't heard given out)'' wrong, so Ricky and Steve make Karl give it out again. It's time for [[Do We Need 'Em?]], today featuring cockroaches with Jessica Marshall, who works in the good museum near Knightsbridge. She disputes most of the information Karl has gathered, namely that they have 18 knees, and that they can hold their breath for 40 minutes, but affirms that they can leave for a week without "an 'ead". Karl needs to use better sources. | ||
====9. | ====9. [[18 January 2003/Transcript#FD|FD]] ''(0:45:41)''==== | ||
Uh-oh ... Karl's been giving out the wrong initials for one of the Rockbusters clues. He doesn't write the answers down in case Ricky cheats. Bollocksed again. | Uh-oh ... Karl's been giving out the wrong initials for one of the Rockbusters clues. He doesn't write the answers down in case Ricky cheats. Bollocksed again. | ||
==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
| Line 48: | Line 54: | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
'''Karl''': It only turns out | '''Karl''': (on a tumour on a woman's backside) It only turns out it's a pork chop that she sat on, five years earlier and it had stuck to her buttock. <br> | ||
'''Ricky''': Right, Karl ...<br> | '''Ricky''': Right, Karl ...<br> | ||
'''Karl''': I can forward you - no listen ... serious...<br> | '''Karl''': I can forward you - no listen ... serious...<br> | ||
| Line 62: | Line 68: | ||
==Rockbusters== | ==Rockbusters== | ||
I've got 3 other jumpers like this one. <span title="Four Tops" style="color: red" id=title>F.T.</span><br> | I've got 3 other jumpers like this one. <span title="Four Tops" style="color: red" id="title">F.T.</span><br> | ||
That bunch of people can't make up their minds if they want to sit in the sun or not. <span title="Charlatans" style="color: red" id=title>C.</span><br> | That bunch of people can't make up their minds if they want to sit in the sun or not. <span title="Charlatans" style="color: red" id="title">C.</span><br> | ||
The Jamaican fella had to have some aspirin. Why? <span title="Freda Payne" style="color: red" id=title>F.P.</span><br> | The Jamaican fella had to have some aspirin. Why? <span title="Freda Payne" style="color: red" id="title">F.P.</span><br> | ||
==Playlist== | ==Playlist== | ||
The Flaming Lips - ''Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots''<br> | The Flaming Lips - ''Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots''<br> | ||
Mock Turtles - ''Can You Dig It'' remixed by Fat Boy Slim <br> | Mock Turtles - ''Can You Dig It'' remixed by Fat Boy Slim <br> | ||
Suede - ''Animal Nitrate'' <br> | [[Suede]] - ''Animal Nitrate'' <br> | ||
Oasis - ''Song Bird'' <br> | Oasis - ''Song Bird'' <br> | ||
Feeder - ''Just the Way I'm Feelin' '' <br> | Feeder - ''Just the Way I'm Feelin' '' <br> | ||
Bob Dylan - '' | Bob Dylan - ''Positively 4th Street'' <br> | ||
Bruce Springsteen - ''Lonesome Day'' <br> | Bruce Springsteen - ''Lonesome Day'' <br> | ||
Supergrass - ''Seen the Light'' <br> | Supergrass - ''Seen the Light'' <br> | ||
David Bowie - ''Lady Stardust'' <br> | [[David Bowie]] - ''Lady Stardust'' <br> | ||
Doves - ''Caught by the River'' <br> | |||
Syntax - ''Pray'' <br> | Syntax - ''Pray'' <br> | ||
The Cure - ''Lovesong'' <br> | The Cure - ''Lovesong'' <br> | ||
[[Song For The Ladies]]: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - ''He Wants You'' <br> | |||
==Trivia== | |||
More information on congress tarts can be found on the forum: [http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4556 Congress Tart Thread #1] and [http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9756 Congress Tart Thread #2] | |||
Karl mistakenly introduces the [[Do We Need 'Em?]] expert Judith Marshall as Jessica. | |||
[ | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
| Line 86: | Line 96: | ||
* [http://youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE Sheb Wooley video - Purple People Eater, from 1958] | * [http://youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE Sheb Wooley video - Purple People Eater, from 1958] | ||
* [http://www.amazon.com/Best-Air-Guitar-Album-World-Ever/dp/B00005S6O1 The Best Air Guitar Album in the World Ever, Vol. 2] | * [http://www.amazon.com/Best-Air-Guitar-Album-World-Ever/dp/B00005S6O1 The Best Air Guitar Album in the World Ever, Vol. 2] | ||
* [https://i.imgur.com/eS5Vfno.jpg The original Pork Chop story as it appeared, and which Karl read, in the Fortean Times] | |||
[[Category:Episode Pages|2.22]] | [[Category:Episode Pages|2.22]] | ||
Latest revision as of 11:11, 2 August 2020
Ricky investigates the effects of blunt objects on the skull, Stephen's feelings are hurt and Karl explores his sexuality.
NB: The available recording of this show is incomplete: it does not include the link in which Karl originally gives out the Rockbusters clues.
Track Listing
| For a full transcript of this episode see 18 January 2003/Transcript. |
|---|
1. I've Done Very Little Preparation (0:00:00)
Ricky starts off the show with a confession. People listen to the show just for Karl. Ricky's not been on a bus in 12 years and doesn't know what the fare is. A guy on the tube said to Steve that Ricky seems a bit obnoxious.
2. That Experiment I Was Doing (0:02:59)
Ricky was hitting Karl on the head with a tin tray. Ricky brings up Time Out magazine and the topic of browsing a telephone directory. There are 42 pages of Macs in the Edinburgh directory according to Karl, who counted while he was bored and finished with the free shortbreads. Ricky and Steve ponder the old caretaker in Karl's head. Karl's got another good monkey story and intros the features to come. Karl can't find anything interesting to teach Ricky about space, because there's nothing there (like the Millenium Dome). Doesn't Ricky want to know how a lung works? Karl knows how a microwave works.
3. Tell Us About This Monkey, Karl (0:09:40)
Karl's got a story about a monkey who ends up acting like the zoo worker he's staying with, eventually trying it on with the zookeeper's wife.
4. One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater (0:14:48)
Karl can't remember a song he liked as a kid and listeners call in to sputter out word fragments in assistance. Steve reads off the Rockbusters prizes, inevitably the usual tat which includes an old Only Fools and Horses video, an air guitar compilation, and a Dr Who "Aztecs" episode. Steve looks just like the ideal Dr Who fan.
5. A Huge Crush on Darius Danesh (0:21:32)
A woman has called in who thinks Steve is arrogant, but he just thinks he's mean, objectionable, and nasty. Emailers want more White Van Karl but it's too political so Steve has an article from Dear Deidre for Karl. A 42 year old woman feels guilty about having sex with her husband 5x in the last 24 hours whilst being turned on by Darius, as opposed to her husband's new mustache as he thinks it is. Ricky and Steve try to get Karl to say something sexy in case listeners are turned on by him, but he doesn't really do that. Karl's advice is "just treat 'em". Suzanne is bored with her Christmas present. What would Karl do if he were impotent? It wouldn't bother him anymore.
6. No One Might Be Listening (0:28:18)
The email's not working. Karl's got some medical information for Ricky this week, called Colon Then, Educate Me. Brain surgery involves being awake, and like barbers, like to make you feel daft.
7. The Doctor Said I Was Gonna Die (0:33:26)
Karl recounts the tale of eating old donuts and Congress Tarts from the bakery his mam worked at. Everybody at his school used to go there and then spend their dinner money on the arcade. One day he got so sick he had his mam have the doctor come 'round, who said he'd not got long left. Ricky's pretty sure it was sarcasm, but Steve can't believe his mam just let the doctor go after that. The 2nd segment of Colon Then is about a woman whose buttock tumour turned out to be a pork chop.
8. Mad World Though, Innit! (0:39:15)
Everyone's getting the last Rockbusters clue (which we haven't heard given out) wrong, so Ricky and Steve make Karl give it out again. It's time for Do We Need 'Em?, today featuring cockroaches with Jessica Marshall, who works in the good museum near Knightsbridge. She disputes most of the information Karl has gathered, namely that they have 18 knees, and that they can hold their breath for 40 minutes, but affirms that they can leave for a week without "an 'ead". Karl needs to use better sources.
9. FD (0:45:41)
Uh-oh ... Karl's been giving out the wrong initials for one of the Rockbusters clues. He doesn't write the answers down in case Ricky cheats. Bollocksed again.
Quotes
Ricky: I love that it's still listed as either "Ricky Gervais" or "Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant".
Steve: Essentially we don't need to be here, really.
Ricky: This is no longer an entertainment show! This is three people, chattin' to each other .. sometimes we remember it's goin' out, sometimes we just take a call for our own amusement ...
Karl: Suzanne says to me, 'Do you love me?' - I go, 'Yeah, you're all right'.
Karl: (on a tumour on a woman's backside) It only turns out it's a pork chop that she sat on, five years earlier and it had stuck to her buttock.
Ricky: Right, Karl ...
Karl: I can forward you - no listen ... serious...
Ricky: ... I'm telling you Karl, I'm leavin'. I am never doing this show again.
Karl: (on cockroaches living without a head for a week) Why, when it was invented, has it got that facility?
Ricky: It's better not to try, than to try your hardest and be rubbish! ... Think of that! You're not even reaching your standards!
Rockbusters
I've got 3 other jumpers like this one. F.T.
That bunch of people can't make up their minds if they want to sit in the sun or not. C.
The Jamaican fella had to have some aspirin. Why? F.P.
Playlist
The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It remixed by Fat Boy Slim
Suede - Animal Nitrate
Oasis - Song Bird
Feeder - Just the Way I'm Feelin'
Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street
Bruce Springsteen - Lonesome Day
Supergrass - Seen the Light
David Bowie - Lady Stardust
Doves - Caught by the River
Syntax - Pray
The Cure - Lovesong
Song For The Ladies: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - He Wants You
Trivia
More information on congress tarts can be found on the forum: Congress Tart Thread #1 and Congress Tart Thread #2
Karl mistakenly introduces the Do We Need 'Em? expert Judith Marshall as Jessica.
